I love Scrubs

Dr. Cox: Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won't they, and then they finally do and they're happy forever -- gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, 'cause I do...believe in it.

I honestly could not have found better words to describe how I feel about love and relationships.

Writer's block

I don't like it. I don't understand why I have it, but I do. I felt compelled to blog today, but I kind of give up. I've typed about 3 different drafts but they're all too ordinary and repetitive. I think I lost it.

19

Wowzers, it's been over a month since I've last blogged. I've turned 19, so yay me cus I'm one year closer to drinking alcohol legally.

So at work yesterday, this guy by the name of Joaquin that works in the kitchen told me and my sister that his brother had called him earlier and told him that he needs to go back to Mexico cus both his parents are really sick. I'm not the type to cry, but I am very sympathetic towards a lot of people, especially lighthearted people like this guy. &nothing really breaks my heart more than to see a grown man fight his tears with a smile simply because he doesn't want anyone else to see or feel how much he's hurting inside. &it sucks, because I wanted to comfort him, but he speaks very little English &I speak very little Spanish. I wish there was more I could've done for him but I simply touched his should and hoped that everything will be better. Well I'm not blogging simply to talk about things that I wish I could've done cus I know that's beyond my control. Honestly, I don't know why I'm blogging. I've shared many experiences with this guy that was worth blogging about, but I never bothered to do so. I guess I never really saw how much of a difference he made in my everyday life. I mean, yes we've shared all but a few words with one another, but to watch him struggle everyday and still keep a smile on his face just warms my heart. At the same time, it does break my heart to see somebody with a heart as big as his to be in so much pain. I know that all his struggles are learning experiences for him, as with anybody else, but damn how much pain does one have to endure in order to find happiness? &that goes for everyone else in the world. I know that I'll eventually see something good come out of this, as with everything else, but it's just the process that's always the most difficult yet most rewarding. I just wish things were simpler, but I know they aren't. So here we all are, trying to get through every obstacle that comes our way and somehow ending up victorious cus here we STILL are, right? I will never forget that man, because he has touched my heart in many ways possible, &I wish him the best in life. He has helped me see the good in everyone, and for that I am grateful.

Dear Father,

To put it simply, IF YOU DIED I WOULD NOT SHED A TEAR BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER DONE SHIT FOR ME MY WHOLE LIFE. Noone has EVER hurt me like you have, and I don't think anybody will be heartless enough to do so. You're a sadistic piece of shit. I think you find joy in hurting your loved ones. You bring out the WORST in me. I have NEVER EVER felt so much hate &dislike for anyone the same way I do for you. I have lost ALL respect for you, and I will NEVER forgive you for all that you have done. You are smarter than ANYBODY I know, and yet you live the life that you do. I was just thinking about why you hang out with lowlives like the dumbfucks that hang out in our garage daily, and it JUST came to me that you're JUST LIKE THEM. You're no better just because you have an education and a family. In fact you're worse because at least they're smart enough to only have to take care of themselves. You have responsibilities, they don't. So Fuck you, &fuck them. Fuck everything and everyone involved in your addiction. Fuck you for being a worthless father. Fuck you for being a shitty husband. Fuck you for being a fucking burden in my life. Fuck you for never ceasing to disappoint me. Fuck you for being the only embarrassment of my life. You're a failure. I hope you know that. You failed because you have had every opportunity handed to you and you dropped everything. EVERYTHING. For drugs and alcohol. I will NEVER respect you. I will NEVER forgive you. I will NEVER love you. You are the shittiest person alive. I hope you fucking burn in hell. I'm gonna laugh in your face and probably spit on it the day that you ever expect anything out of me. I hope you fucking die slowly.

Dear mother,

Please do not EVER ask of me anything and everything that you would not even dare to ask your husband. It is not my responsibility to take care of this family, neither is it my sister's. That's YOURS AND YOUR HUSBAND'S job. Believe me, I understand just how difficult your situation is as a mother of 2 young adults with tubes running through your body just to keep you alive, &I admire you for all that you have done for both of us. But I refuse to grant certain requests that come from you because your husband does NOTHING to make our lives easier. He steals from all 3 of us, even his own mother. He stays home all day, and does drugs at night. He's an embarrassment for all of us, and you seem to be in denial. It hurts me more than anything to realize how much you're willing to lose me over him. I can't recall anytime in my life when he acted as my father. He has never provided me with anything; whether it's materialistic or emotional. He has never supported anything that I do. He has never appreciated anything that I have done for him. You, on the other hand, have never called him out on anything. He has done you wrong plenty of times, and yet you still stick around for lord knows what. He hurts everyone around him, including you, and yet that doesn't seem to bother you. He's killing you slowly, and you're letting him. You're giving up on your children. We need you, but you seem to need him more than anything. For what? I don't know. I can't seem to fathom why you can't leave him. He's a burden on all of us. He has done nothing but hurt us all. &it hurts me that as my mother, you're not even TRYING to stop him from hurting me. In fact you're helping him hurt me by asking me to do things that are HIS responsibilities. It hurts me to see how much you don't care about me. I don't resent helping you, but my help can only go so far. I will only help as much as a daughter is supposed to; I refuse to carry on your husband's responsibilities. I know I can handle it, but I'm not going to. This is my first attempt at denying your request for help, and hopefully it teaches you a lesson. I'm willing to live with my grandma in the Philippines if the distance will help you understand how much you've hurt me, and how much more you would lose without me as opposed to the worthless husband, shitty father, and slum that lives with us &eats the food that we all provide for us. I have no hate for anybody but him, and I will NEVER forgive him for all the things that he has done. NEVER. I will never forget that you continuously choose him over me. NEVER. &I will never forget the conversation we just had. NEVER. You have forever hurt me, and things will never EVER be the same after this.

Summertime

It's here! I'm excited but at the same time afraid that I might not do anything productive. I really wanna accelerate my life but that requires a lot of effort that I have yet to give. I fucked up my first year in college, but I promise to myself and the world that never ever will i do that again. I didn't realize how easily distracted I could really get. But it's fine, no need to mope over it now cus there's nothing else I can do right? I was super depressed earlier but after talking to Arleezy about it I was just super enlightened. I'm not gonna blog about it cus it's hella sad hahaha but I'm fine now. It's in my hands &I'm gonna work on making things better.

So tomorrow is Trisha day. I'm excited. Muahaha
&it's almost June which means it's almost July which means it's almost Arlene &my birthday month, hollllaaaa.

RIP Napoleon Lazaga Sr. =(

El Burro

I am SO superficial, it's ridiculous. I'm nearly over my whole teeth situation. I'm gonna take this time as an experience to become a better person on the inside rather than my aesthetics. I obviously need a lot of work. Anywho, my teeth hurt and so does my stomach. I'm always complaining about something -___-. I can't wait til the csi season finale tonight! Lol. My day with Matty totally failed today, but dinner was delish. Ok hollller at me.

I got that boom boom pow.

So yesterday was mother's day/Diana's birthday party so I went to her house and I got drunk with her, Matty, Shannel &their family. For some reason, I drank too much and blacked out (just like the night before). Apparently I was twerking Matty and I fell on my face and my front tooth pushed up in my mouth &I chipped my tooth. (I don't remember any of this happening, btw) I smoked/drank some more after all that happened so it got infected &now I can't eat shit. I'm really really really really sad. I think it's safe to say that today is one of the saddest days of my life. I mean seriously, how sloppy/clumsy could I have been to do that? I went to the dentist today and got it fixed but I still feel like shit and it really doesn't look the same anymore. Idk. I know I didn't have the perfect teeth but I was fine with that, and now things are so much worse. I don't wanna sound superficial but looks really do matter to me and the rest of the world, and someone's smile is always the first thing to catch me. I have never felt uglier in my life, and I'm really really sad.

FML.

I am SOOOO fucking tired of school. I want it to end already. I'm not enjoying any of my classes AT ALL. I'm gonna drop my English class today cus I don't think I can possibly pass anymore. Or I probably could, but I'd rather not try. I'm most likely gonna take it over the summer, which is ridiculously WHACK but it's better than having to stick through this class for the next two weeks. At least I get to learn something and be ready for when I move on to a different English class, cus I really havne't learned SHIT all semester. So fuck it.

Anywho, I haven't blogged in a while. Not much has been going on, really. I'm gaining weight cus I burn all the time and munchies are not the business. I'm tired of school. I've been spending lots of time with Matty. I've been tryna "clean" lately but ehh. My uncle just came from the Philippines and I guess I should make more of an effort in trying to spend time with him. Besides that nothing else is really new. Well I did go to a buncha different parks with Dion to stoge and enjoy the great outdoors lol. I like this weather! Idk why people don't. I'm not gonna lie it is a little creepy but hey, it's okay. At least temperature wise it's pretty nice, and I'm not getting sun burnt so what's there to complain about?? Mkae well. I'm gonna go ahead and get my life together. Hahah my english teacher jsut saw me and I'm gonna drop his class. Fuck my life.

Push

I like to push a lot of things to their limits. I guess I like the rush I get from the drama of not knowing what's gonna happen? Hahah I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised if that's true though. I'm not sure if I should learn my lesson now, or wait until it bites me in the ass. I'll figure it out somehow.

So lately I've been spending lots of time with Matty. I love it! We're getting to know each other so much better and it's always nice. I spent time with Dion tonight and he actually opened up to me. It was a really good reminder that no matter how well you may think you know someone, there's always something new to learn. People are always changing, and we always have to learn how to adapt and accept those changes. That really helped me keep my feet on ground. On another note, me and Matty burned with A-ron last night and tell me why A-ron was creeping me out. I felt like Arlene cus I swear I had the concerned look on my face the whole night hahahaha. It was hilarious. Krystina had an open house this weekend and me &Matty just fucked shit up, it was fucking ridiculous. I've also been meeting a lot of new people lately and hanging out with different people so it's all good. I do miss my og ass friends though. So hopefully timing works out this week cus tis been a while since I spent time with Nicole, Jeff, Arleezy &MCT.

School tomorrow! The weather is fucking with my head. Mkae goodnight! Oh &I'm fucking up in school, big time. Fuck me, right? Whatever.

Super sad but it's very catchy.

+more.

I forgot to mention that I just decided to re-route my career path yesterday. I swear spending time alone lets you notice all these things you otherwise would've never noticed. I guess I'm going to be more practical and less dreamy. I notice that I'm slowly becoming more realistic and starting to live outside of my fantasy world. How weird.

Stoge?

What an eventful weekend. I watched Good Will Hunting on Friday, and I swear that movie instantly captured my heart. Do whatever your heart tells you to, and don't be afraid. You can have all the potential for "success" in the world, but if you don't follow your heart then all the fortune and prestige in the world will mean nothing to you. Anyhow, so I had a very juicy weekend, cus I was with my juicy line most of the time lol. We went to Kassi/Nohrelynn's telly on Friday which got shut down quickly, and we kicked it with Shantelle, Lexie &Vasean durig and afterwards. Fun people! I went to work on Saturday morning feelin' like this then I went to Nicole's. I have the best pictures of Matty on the jumper. I went to Mel's afterwards with Line and ended the night there. I have to do my paper and I really don't want to. I'm trying to find all kinds of reasons not to do it but I know I have to -__-. Homework sucks. I really really really need a stoge right about now.

Lemons &Pine Cones.

Today has been productive--somewhat. Well, I like to think so. I watched My Sassy girl thanks to Nero and I swear I've never seen a movie like it. I mean, I pretty much predicted the plot of it all, but I liked the fact that they explained every detail of life and love because I feel as though it's necessary sometimes. Signs, as clear as they maybe, will never provide the same clarity and certainty as something that is said out loud. Being positive is a difficult task. I swear I can't help but be completely cynical one moment, and just laugh about it the next. Whatever. I don't think i know what I'm talking about anymore. I mean. I probably do, but I'd rather share it with someone one on one rather than typing it onto this blog. I prefer one on one conversations because there's really no room for error. I can't simply press the backspace button and have time to think about wht I'm going to say and to try and make everything perfect. I simply have to deal with whatever it is I have in the moment, and I can't help but realize that everything is already perfect the way it is. There's no need to change the words around, or find the fancier words to describe whatever I feel. It is what it is, and I'm glad.
I worked out with Jeffrey and Krystle today. Cardio is my shit. Holler at me.
Oh &I kicked it with Nero last night. Nice talks we had. It really made my night.
I'm ready to get fucked up tomorrow night.
It's fucked up how I'm supposed to be writing my essay right now, but I couldn't get my mind off of the whole one on one conversation thing. But yeah. I needa get back to work.

Help, anyone?

I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little confused right now. I have so much time on my hands, and I dont know what to do with it. I want to be productive, but I'm fucked because I'm the type that can't do anything until everything is in place. I've been a wreck for the past week or so, and I swear I thought I was done but it keeps coming back. I need to learn how to hold myself together, fast. This is the longest breakdown I've ever had in my life, and it's pretty fucking scary. My head hurts. I'm tired as fuck for no reason. I don't know what to do. I think I need help.

Viva Las Vegas

I can't find the words to explain the joy I feel from our Vegas trip. I can honestly say that I learned so much more about myself and everyone else that was there. Every single person made a huge difference in my experience, and for that I am grateful. I have gained a completely different perspective of myself. I enjoyed every moment that passed by. I just wish the trip never ended.

Fun Facts about Trisheezy.

-I'm 4'11" and I really wanna lose 15 lbs.
-I don't have a favorite color.
-I hate wearing red clothes because I love wearing red accessories.
-I feel this sudden urge to correct any type of grammatical or spelling error on a formal document or during an online conversation.
-I get irritated really really easily, but I'm almost never mad.
-I absolutely hate getting yelled at.
-I'm not one to cry about small sad or cute things, but when I cry I CRY like cuhraaayyyzeee and it's usually out of anger.
-I have never been in a real romantic relationship in my life.
-I can't seem to like one thing for too long.
-Comfort zones make me uneasy. -__-
-I wear my glasses ALL the time but I'm really not that blind. I just don't like the bags under my eyes.
-I've tried quitting smoking one too many times.
-I got alcohol poisoning when I was 16 -__-
-Leadership was pretty much my life in high school.
-I recently met my cousin from New Jersey and he instantly is one of my favorites.
-I'm really NOT a morning person.
-I almost never sleep in anymore.
-I like to put songs on repeat until it starts to irritate me.
-I'm fucking raw at math and science.
-I would love to be a columnist one day.
-I really can't see myself settling down.
-I think a lot of people think I'm mean cus I'm so apathetic about their issues.
-I like to meet new people but I really have no people skills.
-Arlene might be the only friend I've kept since Middle School.
-I laugh at almost everything awkward and sad which bothers other people.
-My socks don't match most of the time.
-I REALLY hate it when people don't stick to their word.
-I almost never have cash.
-I used to be addicted to tapioca express &sushi.
-Thai food, pho, &sushi. In that order.
-I LOVE to dance like nobody's watching.
-The thought of limits and boundaries sadden me.
-I'm very accepting of people, friendswise at least.
-I'm very much interested in Ancient History, particularly the Ancient Mayan, Greek &Egyptian cultures.
-I'm REALLY quiet when I'm angry.
-I LOVE my alone time.
-I really really really enjoy being single. Like I stated earlier, I can't see myself settling down with anyone. At least for now.
-I like to be in control of my life.
-When people tell me what to do, I usually don't do it. Asking won't hurt, trust me.
-I almost don't know how to say no to my friends.
-I love buying people food.
-Jogging is probably my favoritest activity in the world.
-I STILL don't have a license, cus I'm STILL incapable of driving.
-I can stay home all day and just watch law &order:svu.
-I don't call people back unless I feel like it's important.
-I'm not much of a phone person, I think I'm boring.
-I can't see myself with any other name besides Trisha.
-I gave a lot of people their nicknames in High School.
-I don't think before I act sometimes.
-I LOVE random kickits with people who just text me and say "I haven't seen you in a while, tryna chill?"
-I text dumbass fast.
-I don't mind sharing poo stories with people.
-I HATE boogers &blood.
-I feel like yacking all the time.
-I'm always sick.
-I'm allergic to: mangoes, shellfish, peanuts, fresh cut grass, mushrooms &popcorn make me yack, &tequila. &more that I cant think of right now. Like a lot more hahaha.
-Shia Labeouf, James Franco, and Rob Pattinson when he played "Edward Cullen" are probably the most beautiful men I have ever seen in my life. On the movie screen at least.
-I can listen to almost anything.
-I like weird and random.
-I like people who smile at me.
-I miss my long hair.
-I cut my hair when I'm bored.
-I'm compatible with a pisces =)
-I read my horoscope even though I don't always believe it.
-I wake up every morning searching for a water bottle cus I get super dehydrated.
-I drink about 12 bottles of water daily.
-I'd rather drink beer than soda.
Uhm. This is all for now. I'm kinda sleeeeeeppyy.

My head hurts.

I always have headaches for some reason. But I think this one is cus I haven't had a stoge all day. I had one of the randomest weekends in a while. I didn't go to class on Friday cus Paris thought class started at 12 LOL. I went to work then hung out with Nicole. We went to starbucks and I could not resist the free club Nicole was offering me sooo we were off to abyss. I called Jeffrey to see where he was at and they didn't get into wet so he decided to just go with us to Abyss. ME AND NICOLE WERE TOO JUICED FOR WORDS and when we got there them shits was fucking CLOSED. Hahahahahahhahahahaah. Ohhh myyy gaaahh. Afterwards me and Nicole followed Jeff and them into the mcdonalds drive thru and we didn't even get anything hahahahahaha. It was sooo surreal I don't think you understand. Anywho. I had work the next morning and then I went over to Nicole's house to watch Slumdog Millionaire. We played American Idol while we waited for it to download and we just had the time of our lives. Hahahah we unlocked like 2 songs and some random characters. Afterwards Jeff and Kevin came through and we got shy ahahaha. So I dipped out with Jeff and we met up with Kassi. We went to Bay to meet up with Francis and me &Kassi got drunk. Dion came by! Afterwards me Francis Kassi Stephanie and Mark went to in n out where my credit card got fucking declined. Ridiculous I know. Agh whatever. I woke up late today and I have done nothing all day. Nicole and I were supposed to hang out but she totally catted out. So I got ready for nothing. What a jerkatoid lol. Anywho, I'm juiced for Vegas.

Less burden.

I'm really all that I need. I always knew that, but I never actually realized how much of my life revolves around such a small sentence.
I have a lot on my mind. I just had a good talk/cry with two of my aunties, and they really enlightened me on a lot of things. My immediate family will always mean the world to me, but I'm not a bad person if I choose myself over them from time to time.
I can't be held down. My own person is enough weight that I have to carry, and anymore baggage would only hold me back and keep me from doing what I'm here to do. Whether that's a person or any other thing that stops me from being successful, I have no choice but to let go.
I love my life and every single part of it, and I am grateful for all that I have, had, never had, will never have, and will have sometime in the future. I can't imagine leaving behind anything and everything that my life is a part of currently, but the world is a much bigger place and I would be willing to do what I have to in order to be the person that I'm meant to be.

Fuck you.

I'm fat. I need to go on a diet. Jeff told me that I'm growing sideways. =( I wanna go running and I wanna fucking dance. I'm so broke. I'm obviously super depressed right now but I'm really just being bipolar cus I'm gonna get my period in the next 36 hours. =(


Reminders to self.
-Stop slacking off in English. --starting next week -__-
-Start reading for history.
-Study for psych test on Monday.
-Do math homeworks.
-Finish Eclipse.
-Watch Slum Dog Millionaire.
-Stick to my so-called "diet".
-Get ridiculously shitfaced.
-LET MY GUARD DOWN.

My blogs are always so long.

Wowzers it's been a while. So here are some interesting things that happened since my last encounter with blogspot.
-I went to chico with Krys &Matty to visit Nicole. Her friend Kelsey is tight. Chico is the weirdest place of my life. LOL.
-Kassi, Francis &I got drunk at Bay Billiards. Me &kassi went on a cute valentines date at Pho appetit and I love that place. Kassi snorted the whole night cus she forsome reason couldn't breathe right.
-I slept over Arleezy f's house for the first time in my life. Cute, huh? Lol Lo, Zach, Aaron &Nero came over for the first part of the night and just drank. Me &Arlene were hella knock status after they left and we just blabbered our lives away but it was a nice talk like always. Hahahaha and when we were ready to go to bed, we couldn't fucking sleep cus we kept singing sweet child o' mine and boats and hoes. Hahahahah &we kept saying randomass lines to StepBrothers. &of course we still weren't satisfied so we got up and youtubed her iphone for boats and hoes &sweet child o' mine. We fell asleep around 630 and we didn't see the sunrise. =(
-We got up and I thought it was still dumbass early but apparently it was already kinda late lol. We had lunch at Nix's, or I tried to. I had no type of appetite whatsoever. Me, Lo &Arz had a nice ketchup talk at Tap. They're my favoritest campers ever. We went to the mall afterwards and I pretty much maxed out my credit card. We went crazy cus boots were buy one get one free and shit. Hahahah. Then we met up with Aaron &Nero at the landing. I fed Aaron fries cus he had no hands. Lol then I went home.
-I had a GREAT 4 day weekend obviously.
-Friday night Nini girl and I had a feast at Roses Cafe hahaha. Then we watched "He's just not that into you" with Gino. &let me tell you, that was a GREAT movie. I'm usually not into romantic movies but this one was one of the better ones I've seen that didn't make me gag cus it wasn't too cheesey. I really identify with Alex, but I'm a girl hahaha. I need a boy Gigi. The 3 of us couldn't find anything to do afterwards lol so we went home. Then Line swooped me to go to Jay's house cus it's his birthday. We walked wall-e who is huge as fuck. We burned and I'm th ebiggest lightweight in the world.
-I had weezy. Kassi swooped me to stoge real fast at starbucks. Then I went to Nicole's &I met her dog -__- lol. Then we were off to Pam's. Me &Ha just bonded cus alkies like us tend to stick together at parties. LOL. Nicole is the biggest lightweight in the fucking world omg. We burned afterwards and me, Tina &Nicole were just having the biggest gigglefest in the world. Hahahahahahha. My stomach was hurting so bad cus we were laughing too much. Nicole and I somehow got home. Hahahaha &I found myself on my bed this morning hella dehydrated and shit but I'm always equipped with water bottles next to me.
LAZY SUNDAY TODAY. What to do what to do!

Very interesting weekend.

I spent most of my weekend sleeping. I'm not even complaining though. I needed to rest.
Anywho! I did some catching up with my homegirl Caroline on Friday night. It's always nice to spend time with that girl. We were also with Gino, Tina &met up later on with Christian.
Saturday was soooo fucking amazing. I slept all day &all night. Hahah any type of plan that Jeff and I made just failed dramatically, but we ended up having a stoge before the night ended. I pretty much catted on the girls for the party we were all supposed to go to though, -__-. Sorry.
Sunday was such a lazy sunday until dinner with Arlene, Justin, Francis, Jas &Aaron. We ate at texas roadhouse and I wasn't too satisfied with my smothered chicken. Afterwards we just chilled at Arlene's house, then we went to Tin's cus Sedrick &friends were there. Talk about segregated and shit. LOL it was almost as bad at Arlene's 19th birthday, but it didn't get that far. Of course I played drums on rockband, and as always I was raw as fuck. Muahahah. Prance, Aaron, Arleezy &I played hangman and tried to karatechop one another. Afterwards, Arlene Aaron &I headed back to Arleezy f's house and we attempted to run amuck and drink 40s but that plan failed. So we just cheeeled there. Aaron dropped me off and i went to sleep.
The next morning I woke up at 9 cus I got a text and I was ready by 930 but Arlene never woke up LOL. She swooped me and I blowdried her hair for her today cus she was on the phone. Hahaha. So I skipped all four of my classes today and we went to Bizzerkeley so Jujuface can get his piercing, which Auntie was not too happy about but ended up agreeing to anyways. His piercing looks nice! We ate at fat slice then dippd &got fucking lost on the way back. -__- I went out to dinner with family for my Kuya Alexis' birthday and we ate at Texas Roadhouse.
Pictures &pictures and a very nice catchup session with cousin Brian. I love that guy. I swear it was as if he and I never lost touch and we always just pick up where we left off. I'm grateful for having him in my life. &I also texted Dion. Hopefully things somehow go back to the way they used to be between us.
Anywho, I have work at 8 tomorrow -__-. Then I'm going vday shopping with kassi. I'm set on my surprise. Muaaha. Okie dokes peace out.

Daily blurbs.

So my week so far. School is intense. It's kinda difficult not being able to eat all day til around 730PM or so. My classes aren't as bad as I thought they would be, although I'm not too fond of my math teacher -__-. Her accent throws me off. I'm pretty psyched about my history class. I heard it's super hard but I'm up for the challenge. English is different. It's really art based, which is WAYYYYY out of my comfort zone. My teacher is so hands on and we haven't started on much literature, but I'm really excited for that. Psych is just naturally really interesting to me. Math is math. It's pretty easy I jsut really can't stand my teacher. Tuesday was wonderful. I had pho after work with my friend Kassi and we talked, and it was really really nice. Today was definitely interesting. I talked to my friend Kj, whom I hadn't spoken to in a few months, and it was so fucking weird. I didn't think I'd be able to actually spend time with her, but having that stoge with her was nice. Nothing like what I expected, but then again I don't think I expected much, if anything at all. The weekend is almost here! I'm kind of excited to finally spend time with Nicole. I miss my bestfriend Arlene. I forgot to call my friend Nikole back. She lives in Vegas and I'm glad she and I are still in touch. I'm kinda glad I'm finally getting my shit straight, with school at least. I'm gonna try and smile more. Maybe more people would find me more approachable and less bitchy. I'm gonna do my best to change my attitude about school. Maybe my experience will get better. Valentine's day is coming up and I'm kinda excited. Kassi and I are going on a cute dinner and we're gonna wear cute dresses and all that! =) no homo. I'm gonna make something for Kassi &Arlene strictly lol. I'm too lazy for everyone else, sorry. Maybe someone else. If I'm not lazy and I'm feeling nice hahaha. But yeah. MY jam of the week is; day &night - Kid Cudi vs. Crookers.

Clean slate.

I'm happy. Is that too much? I feel selfish because I have been putting myself before anyone else ever since forever ago. I always thought that this was why I was often unhappy. But after conversing with good friends, the truth suddenly slips out without me knowing that such a truth even exists. I think it's safe to say that I am content with everything that I have and don't have and I am open to whatever else may come my way in the near future. I know that there's more to life than what I have right now, but I'm fine where I'm at right this very moment. Of course it will get better just like it always does, and it's not always going to be easy. But I'm up for the challenge. I'm really really really excited for what my future has in store for me. That may include a boyfriend -__- but I'm not counting on it. Hahaha at least not for now. Anywho, Thank you Aaron &Nero for inspiring me to blog after like 9 jillion years.