Summertime

It's here! I'm excited but at the same time afraid that I might not do anything productive. I really wanna accelerate my life but that requires a lot of effort that I have yet to give. I fucked up my first year in college, but I promise to myself and the world that never ever will i do that again. I didn't realize how easily distracted I could really get. But it's fine, no need to mope over it now cus there's nothing else I can do right? I was super depressed earlier but after talking to Arleezy about it I was just super enlightened. I'm not gonna blog about it cus it's hella sad hahaha but I'm fine now. It's in my hands &I'm gonna work on making things better.

So tomorrow is Trisha day. I'm excited. Muahaha
&it's almost June which means it's almost July which means it's almost Arlene &my birthday month, hollllaaaa.

RIP Napoleon Lazaga Sr. =(

El Burro

I am SO superficial, it's ridiculous. I'm nearly over my whole teeth situation. I'm gonna take this time as an experience to become a better person on the inside rather than my aesthetics. I obviously need a lot of work. Anywho, my teeth hurt and so does my stomach. I'm always complaining about something -___-. I can't wait til the csi season finale tonight! Lol. My day with Matty totally failed today, but dinner was delish. Ok hollller at me.

I got that boom boom pow.

So yesterday was mother's day/Diana's birthday party so I went to her house and I got drunk with her, Matty, Shannel &their family. For some reason, I drank too much and blacked out (just like the night before). Apparently I was twerking Matty and I fell on my face and my front tooth pushed up in my mouth &I chipped my tooth. (I don't remember any of this happening, btw) I smoked/drank some more after all that happened so it got infected &now I can't eat shit. I'm really really really really sad. I think it's safe to say that today is one of the saddest days of my life. I mean seriously, how sloppy/clumsy could I have been to do that? I went to the dentist today and got it fixed but I still feel like shit and it really doesn't look the same anymore. Idk. I know I didn't have the perfect teeth but I was fine with that, and now things are so much worse. I don't wanna sound superficial but looks really do matter to me and the rest of the world, and someone's smile is always the first thing to catch me. I have never felt uglier in my life, and I'm really really sad.

FML.

I am SOOOO fucking tired of school. I want it to end already. I'm not enjoying any of my classes AT ALL. I'm gonna drop my English class today cus I don't think I can possibly pass anymore. Or I probably could, but I'd rather not try. I'm most likely gonna take it over the summer, which is ridiculously WHACK but it's better than having to stick through this class for the next two weeks. At least I get to learn something and be ready for when I move on to a different English class, cus I really havne't learned SHIT all semester. So fuck it.

Anywho, I haven't blogged in a while. Not much has been going on, really. I'm gaining weight cus I burn all the time and munchies are not the business. I'm tired of school. I've been spending lots of time with Matty. I've been tryna "clean" lately but ehh. My uncle just came from the Philippines and I guess I should make more of an effort in trying to spend time with him. Besides that nothing else is really new. Well I did go to a buncha different parks with Dion to stoge and enjoy the great outdoors lol. I like this weather! Idk why people don't. I'm not gonna lie it is a little creepy but hey, it's okay. At least temperature wise it's pretty nice, and I'm not getting sun burnt so what's there to complain about?? Mkae well. I'm gonna go ahead and get my life together. Hahah my english teacher jsut saw me and I'm gonna drop his class. Fuck my life.

Push

I like to push a lot of things to their limits. I guess I like the rush I get from the drama of not knowing what's gonna happen? Hahah I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised if that's true though. I'm not sure if I should learn my lesson now, or wait until it bites me in the ass. I'll figure it out somehow.

So lately I've been spending lots of time with Matty. I love it! We're getting to know each other so much better and it's always nice. I spent time with Dion tonight and he actually opened up to me. It was a really good reminder that no matter how well you may think you know someone, there's always something new to learn. People are always changing, and we always have to learn how to adapt and accept those changes. That really helped me keep my feet on ground. On another note, me and Matty burned with A-ron last night and tell me why A-ron was creeping me out. I felt like Arlene cus I swear I had the concerned look on my face the whole night hahahaha. It was hilarious. Krystina had an open house this weekend and me &Matty just fucked shit up, it was fucking ridiculous. I've also been meeting a lot of new people lately and hanging out with different people so it's all good. I do miss my og ass friends though. So hopefully timing works out this week cus tis been a while since I spent time with Nicole, Jeff, Arleezy &MCT.

School tomorrow! The weather is fucking with my head. Mkae goodnight! Oh &I'm fucking up in school, big time. Fuck me, right? Whatever.

Super sad but it's very catchy.

+more.

I forgot to mention that I just decided to re-route my career path yesterday. I swear spending time alone lets you notice all these things you otherwise would've never noticed. I guess I'm going to be more practical and less dreamy. I notice that I'm slowly becoming more realistic and starting to live outside of my fantasy world. How weird.

Stoge?

What an eventful weekend. I watched Good Will Hunting on Friday, and I swear that movie instantly captured my heart. Do whatever your heart tells you to, and don't be afraid. You can have all the potential for "success" in the world, but if you don't follow your heart then all the fortune and prestige in the world will mean nothing to you. Anyhow, so I had a very juicy weekend, cus I was with my juicy line most of the time lol. We went to Kassi/Nohrelynn's telly on Friday which got shut down quickly, and we kicked it with Shantelle, Lexie &Vasean durig and afterwards. Fun people! I went to work on Saturday morning feelin' like this then I went to Nicole's. I have the best pictures of Matty on the jumper. I went to Mel's afterwards with Line and ended the night there. I have to do my paper and I really don't want to. I'm trying to find all kinds of reasons not to do it but I know I have to -__-. Homework sucks. I really really really need a stoge right about now.