Very interesting weekend.

I spent most of my weekend sleeping. I'm not even complaining though. I needed to rest.
Anywho! I did some catching up with my homegirl Caroline on Friday night. It's always nice to spend time with that girl. We were also with Gino, Tina &met up later on with Christian.
Saturday was soooo fucking amazing. I slept all day &all night. Hahah any type of plan that Jeff and I made just failed dramatically, but we ended up having a stoge before the night ended. I pretty much catted on the girls for the party we were all supposed to go to though, -__-. Sorry.
Sunday was such a lazy sunday until dinner with Arlene, Justin, Francis, Jas &Aaron. We ate at texas roadhouse and I wasn't too satisfied with my smothered chicken. Afterwards we just chilled at Arlene's house, then we went to Tin's cus Sedrick &friends were there. Talk about segregated and shit. LOL it was almost as bad at Arlene's 19th birthday, but it didn't get that far. Of course I played drums on rockband, and as always I was raw as fuck. Muahahah. Prance, Aaron, Arleezy &I played hangman and tried to karatechop one another. Afterwards, Arlene Aaron &I headed back to Arleezy f's house and we attempted to run amuck and drink 40s but that plan failed. So we just cheeeled there. Aaron dropped me off and i went to sleep.
The next morning I woke up at 9 cus I got a text and I was ready by 930 but Arlene never woke up LOL. She swooped me and I blowdried her hair for her today cus she was on the phone. Hahaha. So I skipped all four of my classes today and we went to Bizzerkeley so Jujuface can get his piercing, which Auntie was not too happy about but ended up agreeing to anyways. His piercing looks nice! We ate at fat slice then dippd &got fucking lost on the way back. -__- I went out to dinner with family for my Kuya Alexis' birthday and we ate at Texas Roadhouse.
Pictures &pictures and a very nice catchup session with cousin Brian. I love that guy. I swear it was as if he and I never lost touch and we always just pick up where we left off. I'm grateful for having him in my life. &I also texted Dion. Hopefully things somehow go back to the way they used to be between us.
Anywho, I have work at 8 tomorrow -__-. Then I'm going vday shopping with kassi. I'm set on my surprise. Muaaha. Okie dokes peace out.

Daily blurbs.

So my week so far. School is intense. It's kinda difficult not being able to eat all day til around 730PM or so. My classes aren't as bad as I thought they would be, although I'm not too fond of my math teacher -__-. Her accent throws me off. I'm pretty psyched about my history class. I heard it's super hard but I'm up for the challenge. English is different. It's really art based, which is WAYYYYY out of my comfort zone. My teacher is so hands on and we haven't started on much literature, but I'm really excited for that. Psych is just naturally really interesting to me. Math is math. It's pretty easy I jsut really can't stand my teacher. Tuesday was wonderful. I had pho after work with my friend Kassi and we talked, and it was really really nice. Today was definitely interesting. I talked to my friend Kj, whom I hadn't spoken to in a few months, and it was so fucking weird. I didn't think I'd be able to actually spend time with her, but having that stoge with her was nice. Nothing like what I expected, but then again I don't think I expected much, if anything at all. The weekend is almost here! I'm kind of excited to finally spend time with Nicole. I miss my bestfriend Arlene. I forgot to call my friend Nikole back. She lives in Vegas and I'm glad she and I are still in touch. I'm kinda glad I'm finally getting my shit straight, with school at least. I'm gonna try and smile more. Maybe more people would find me more approachable and less bitchy. I'm gonna do my best to change my attitude about school. Maybe my experience will get better. Valentine's day is coming up and I'm kinda excited. Kassi and I are going on a cute dinner and we're gonna wear cute dresses and all that! =) no homo. I'm gonna make something for Kassi &Arlene strictly lol. I'm too lazy for everyone else, sorry. Maybe someone else. If I'm not lazy and I'm feeling nice hahaha. But yeah. MY jam of the week is; day &night - Kid Cudi vs. Crookers.

Clean slate.

I'm happy. Is that too much? I feel selfish because I have been putting myself before anyone else ever since forever ago. I always thought that this was why I was often unhappy. But after conversing with good friends, the truth suddenly slips out without me knowing that such a truth even exists. I think it's safe to say that I am content with everything that I have and don't have and I am open to whatever else may come my way in the near future. I know that there's more to life than what I have right now, but I'm fine where I'm at right this very moment. Of course it will get better just like it always does, and it's not always going to be easy. But I'm up for the challenge. I'm really really really excited for what my future has in store for me. That may include a boyfriend -__- but I'm not counting on it. Hahaha at least not for now. Anywho, Thank you Aaron &Nero for inspiring me to blog after like 9 jillion years.

I'm thirsty

I haven't blogged in a while. I haven't been doing much, really. Thanksgiving was pretty awesome, probably one of the best I've had in a really long time, if not ever. I remet some family that I'm not even supposed to know about lol. But yeah it was good overall.

I'm tired. I'm gonna watch gossip girl. I haven't been sad for a long time hahaha that's probably why I haven't been blogging. I'm not sure why I blogged tonight. I thought I'd have shit to say but apparently not. Anywho, I'm gonna watch gossip girl and/or read new moon.


Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and you're one tricky motherfucker.

Better in time

Sorry all my blogs are hella emo. This has kind of been a diary for me where I can express things that I usually wouldn't in public, and of course I express my happiness cus there's no shame in that. Hahah but this one will not be too sad, just kinda. Hahaha

I think it's safe to say that one should let go when there's no longer anything for you to hold onto. Yes? Far too many things are not under my control which frightens me, but ultimately that's what's feeding my hope. There aren't many things in this world that I find difficult, and when that opportunity comes where I have the chance at growth, of course I should take that opportunity right? Maybe. Maybe this isn't an opportunity, but more like a dream that I've been living. The situation seems too good to be true. The chances of getting what I want is slim to none, leaning towards none. Pathetic, huh? I'm not sure exactly. Maybe that's why I'm holding on, because there's so much unfinished business involved. It's so unfair how it's pretty much one-sided from here on out. Maybe it was one-sided from the very start. Maybe this situation never existed, and it's been a dream from the very beginning and I still haven't waken up. Fuck if it's a dream then it's a nightmare. I long to let go, and yet I choose not to. I've never been so uncertain about anything before, and this uncertainty has lasted for far too long, and has held me back from too many things. I'm well aware of that, and yet I choose not to let go. It's my own choice, and I choose to put myself through all the bullshit that I go. For what reason? I don't know. I don't know a lot of things right now. The longer I hold on, the harder it will be to let go. Why am I making this so hard on myself? I thought that things will get better over time, because "time heals all wounds" supposedly. Fuck that shit, it's been forever, and there has not been any progress. I've been stuck for too long. Get me the fuck outta here.

This WAS sad. I'm sorry. Hahaha

The unknown frightens me

For reasons that are obviously non-existent considering that it is UNKNOWN. I feel as though my life has no sense of direction whatsoever. I know what I don't want but I can't seem to find what I do want. At this point in my life, I'm stuck in this maze. I know that I can find my way out, but as of right now I'm fucking hopeless. Two heads are often better than one, and I feel as though I've been alone on this maze for far too long. I've come a long way and there's been plenty of times when I have almost stepped out of this happily, but something continuously holds me back and I find myself in the beginning all over again. I take a different route every single time I come back to the point of origin, and yet it only gets more complicated as I go further. I'm stuck. I really don't know where I'm going, and who will be with me when I go there.

What's the worst thing that could ever happen to you?

Our instructor asked us this question yesterday, and a few people said death. Many begged to differ but the one answer that caught my attention the most was "Well, what's worse than being dead? Living." I wanted to give her a stogue and a hug soon after she said that.
What's the worst thing that could ever happen to you?
Imagine lying on your deathbed trying to reminisce on what your life has been. You know try to analyze what your purpose has been. Try to see how much difference you've made in people's lives. How much dreams you chased after. How much memories you shared with loved ones. How much you were really ALIVE and not just another piece of mass that took up a space on the earth. Now imagine yourself without an answer. Sucks, huh?